Neth Smiley (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
goatgodschild) wrote2022-06-12 03:24 pm
goatgodschild) wrote2022-06-12 03:24 pm
Entry tags:
Week 3, Entry 8
That while I live, the beast remains. -- "Berserker", Leslie Fish
This project only really works if it survives testing, doesn't it?
A few people on a Discord server were talking about a Renfaire near them, and how much they'd like to hurt the archers there. I could feel myself getting prickly all over and wanting to do what they said, so that they would be my friend. I mentioned about last time, when security got called on me and I let them take the knife away. The world was all greyish, but I managed to shut up and calm down enough to quiet down.
I felt sick afterwards, and am still feeling guilty nausea.
Maybe I can keep this feeling going, recognizing that I can't play along with any kind of speaking about violence. It's just too difficult to parse, and even when I can, it's easy enough to slip into rage.
This project only really works if it survives testing, doesn't it?
A few people on a Discord server were talking about a Renfaire near them, and how much they'd like to hurt the archers there. I could feel myself getting prickly all over and wanting to do what they said, so that they would be my friend. I mentioned about last time, when security got called on me and I let them take the knife away. The world was all greyish, but I managed to shut up and calm down enough to quiet down.
I felt sick afterwards, and am still feeling guilty nausea.
Maybe I can keep this feeling going, recognizing that I can't play along with any kind of speaking about violence. It's just too difficult to parse, and even when I can, it's easy enough to slip into rage.