goatgodschild | Marginalia, Entry 4

Here is my current list of all the celebrities I can pull up full-on opinions on. I don’t know if they count as “parasocial relationships”, but here they are.

Don’t see a celebrity here? Either I don’t know them, I don’t care enough about them to have an opinion, or I have forgotten what opinions I have on them. Or they’re not online. Or they’re dead. Or I forgot their names. Look, this list was hard enough in thinking of how many celebrities I actually have an opinion on beyond “Eh, they were good in [X], hope they did alright for themselves”.

Robert Carlyle: True character actor. Incredibly talented, but has an equally strong talent for picking wretched material. Seems to keep his head down and show up, perform in whatever Q-tier soap opera he’s in, take his paycheck and go home. Hope he’s doing well.
Benedict Cumberbatch: Better at comedy than he is usually allotted. Looks a little inbred, but that’s what happens when you go to Eton.
Felicia Day: Glad she’s on MST3K and gets to play a very ace villainess after being slavered over for the past decade-ish. Seems alright, better comic timing than usually given credit for.
Guillermo del Toro: Seems like a really fun guy, going on his interviews, writing, and films. Seems to keep his nose clean. Hope he keeps making films, they seem to stay quality. Good sense of decoration.
Neil Gaiman: One of my top-ten favorite living authors. Very beautiful, hope he’s doing alright. Have considered writing to him, but keep putting it off.
Doug Jones: Seems like a cool guy. Glad he’s still getting work. Amazing physicality.
Matthew McConaughey: Good actor. Lanky and pretty. Would watch him in most things. One of the few actors who can play butch. Hope he takes on that Rust prequel series. Astounded that he decided to act in Reign of Fire. Appreciate his constant shirt allergy.
Mads Mikkelsen: Very still face, making him one of the few people I can reliably recognize on sight. Seems to keep his nose clean. Glad he’s getting work.
Ben Miller: Liked him in Death In Paradise. Unsurprised that he turned out to be anti-trans, given he’s a middle-aged British man.
Patton Oswalt: Very funny, talented writer of imagery. Some of the best writing about fatness I have personally come across. Glad he’s on MST3K.
Jared Padalecki: Very pretty. Dumb as a bag of hammerstones. Has managed to look startlingly like a trans guy throughout his career. Has appeared in Men’s Health (aka Sports Illustrated for gay men) 6 times, a fact I find endlessly hilarious. Can’t hit marker tape for beans.
Michael Shannon: Scary-looking, but he seems alright. Enjoyed his work in The Shape of Water and Boardwalk Empire. Good comedy talent, though it doesn’t get used a lot.
Mark Sheppard: Talented, great sense of timing, openly a short fat guy who’s not played for comedy or gross-out. Appreciate that he seems to keep his yap shut and make good money. Good inkwork.
Rainn Wilson: Better dramatic actor than usually allotted. Gave an incredible performance in Backstrom. Hope he gets work, because political commentary is not his strong suit. But if people kept trying to make me act like their fancast of a job I’d given up ages ago, I’d probably go nuts, too.
Steven Moffat, Bryan Fuller, Ryan Murphy, George Lucas, Tarsem Singh: Can and will be devoured by plot bunnies unless kept on an incredibly tight rein.
Dan Olson; “Andy” of Atun-Shei Films: Voice like butter that makes you smarter. Glad he stays pretty private. Attractive. Incredibly talented writer/performer.
MST3K Crew: Have, by extension, helped me with my lifelong insomnia and nightmares. Glad Mr. Corbett is sober, it’s an inspiration to me. Also inspirational in building a reliable brand with reliable and affordable output, and leaning on clean(ish) humor.

Marginalia, Entry 4

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