Week 6, Entry 5

I spent most of last night feeling shaky and scared. I was suddenly extremely hungry, and had 4 cookies and a bowl of cereal before I didn't feel like I was entirely empty. My brain is continually throwing how much it hates me out there, which I am understanding of. And because it's panicking and can't do much practicing of seeing other people, my brain is just going wild on the conspiracy theories, trying to find a way to excuse violence and lack of empathy. It is very tiring.

I really need to draw. Both to create a project and to illustrate my own feelings.

Week 6, Entry 6

I can walk around easily now! Not perfectly, I definitely still need to have my cane on hand, but it's a vast improvement! Admittedly, I did spend a good deal of time on my back, on the floor, unable to move far or fast. However, I was able to do situps and stretches, so I am happy about that. Even with my feet, I can still move!

I tried to clean the kitchen, but my mom came home and told me to go sit down, which turned out to be a good idea, because then my feet started to really hurt.

I got a proper look at the doves who are nesting in the shrub outside, while they were feeding their branchling and everything! I chopped nuts up for them really fine, and tossed the handful out, really wide, so if they want to get it, they won't be overfed or get over-used to handfeeding. I'm glad they're around; I like their sounds, and they are sensible creatures.

Tomorrow, I'm planning to at least pick up a copy of <i>The Shining,</i> so that I can go through it and make notes. I've found it to be one of the most accurate depictions of the addiction and anger mindsets I've ever read.