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Week 36, Entry 1
Jan. 23rd, 2023 10:21 pmToday was a good day for me, but it wasn't a good day for Mom.
I haven't had a lapse since last month, which I'm happy about. Last night, a person I like in one of my Discord groups was saying something I was disagreeing with, and I could feel myself starting to chill. I took myself out of the conversation immediately, and apologized for being snappish. They said I wasn't, but I think that it's a good habit to get into. And they didn't even need to know what was going on in my head.
The dragon figure on my wall (the one Mal gave me when I visited) fell down night before last -- his jaw and raised forepaw snapped. I'd planned to fix it, but after the dragon broke, I haven't heard anything from him mentally since. It's definitely been a weight off me, and if that's what it took, then I'm not going to repair him. The dragon, I mean.
Today, I filled up the water jugs, took out the trash and the recycling, brought Mom's water jugs in, vacuumed and dusted the stairs and vacuumed my room. Mom wasn't doing so well today, though. Her head was tight, her back hurt, she kept wandering around -- partly because of the lumbar thing, partly because she kept getting lost mid-task. She kept repeating that she was hungry, even as she was eating her noonday apple slices and almonds, but I offered her my burrito and she turned it down. I worry about her a lot, especially with my trying to get a job. When I'm gone, who's going to look after her, keep track of issues she's having, carry anything that weighs more than a pound?
I haven't had a lapse since last month, which I'm happy about. Last night, a person I like in one of my Discord groups was saying something I was disagreeing with, and I could feel myself starting to chill. I took myself out of the conversation immediately, and apologized for being snappish. They said I wasn't, but I think that it's a good habit to get into. And they didn't even need to know what was going on in my head.
The dragon figure on my wall (the one Mal gave me when I visited) fell down night before last -- his jaw and raised forepaw snapped. I'd planned to fix it, but after the dragon broke, I haven't heard anything from him mentally since. It's definitely been a weight off me, and if that's what it took, then I'm not going to repair him. The dragon, I mean.
Today, I filled up the water jugs, took out the trash and the recycling, brought Mom's water jugs in, vacuumed and dusted the stairs and vacuumed my room. Mom wasn't doing so well today, though. Her head was tight, her back hurt, she kept wandering around -- partly because of the lumbar thing, partly because she kept getting lost mid-task. She kept repeating that she was hungry, even as she was eating her noonday apple slices and almonds, but I offered her my burrito and she turned it down. I worry about her a lot, especially with my trying to get a job. When I'm gone, who's going to look after her, keep track of issues she's having, carry anything that weighs more than a pound?
