Week 4, Entry 1
Jun. 15th, 2022 10:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
goatgodschildThe lack of updates is partly because I don't know what to say.
There's only one project that's really working out well, which is Tell The World That We Tried on AO3. I've got other things I should do, that I want to do, but I just can't seem to bring myself to care.
I don't know what it means that I relapsed on Sunday, even the once. Does it mean that I'm starting back from square one? Does it matter that I'm shorting out less, and that my empathy levels have begun to regularly steady? I hope it matters, and that I am not going to have to start all over.
The more I think about it objectively, the more I find myself thinking that I'm leaning into hopelessness because it's easier than staying on my training and focus. It's a process, isn't it? If a learning process has no points of difficulty, then it's not really doing anything.
There's only one project that's really working out well, which is Tell The World That We Tried on AO3. I've got other things I should do, that I want to do, but I just can't seem to bring myself to care.
I don't know what it means that I relapsed on Sunday, even the once. Does it mean that I'm starting back from square one? Does it matter that I'm shorting out less, and that my empathy levels have begun to regularly steady? I hope it matters, and that I am not going to have to start all over.
The more I think about it objectively, the more I find myself thinking that I'm leaning into hopelessness because it's easier than staying on my training and focus. It's a process, isn't it? If a learning process has no points of difficulty, then it's not really doing anything.
