Week 7, Entry 4

[goatgodschild]

This evening has taken a decidedly sharp turn. My mind is throwing every trick in the world at me to try and get me to break, to claim that I need to follow my cravings or I will not be loved or cared for. I started to flail around a lot, because I was just so frustrated and angry -- I've washed the dishes five times today, and it just keeps going. Mom says that she's grateful, and I'm trying to stay on top of everything, but it's just not enough, somehow. I'm trying not to be as angry as I already am, trying to calm down, and once I got up here into my room, I was able to mentally quiet myself. I've tried to stay calm, but I've gotten so close to being irritated that it's unsettling. I am trying not to lose my temper.

All right, time for a shower and bed. I'll figure out more things tomorrow.