Week 7, Entry 3

Today I was too busy to have (m)any intrusive or conspiratorial thoughts. I could feel the cold-drake wanting to come earlier the morning, when I found out that I had gotten out the wrong clothing for the laundry today, but I fought it down. I started to hear things, and worked to ignore them.

Unfortunately, I was too busy to go to the SMART meeting, because I had to go take my mom on errands. But I drove well, so there's that. Tomorrow I'm set to be driving again as well, so I can drop off my library book(s) and take Mom grocery shopping.

I also got news today that one of my uncles is in the ICU. I don't know what all happened, exactly, but he has been in poor health for some time. I hope that my father and I will be able to go visit him.

Week 7, Entry 4

This evening has taken a decidedly sharp turn. My mind is throwing every trick in the world at me to try and get me to break, to claim that I need to follow my cravings or I will not be loved or cared for. I started to flail around a lot, because I was just so frustrated and angry -- I've washed the dishes five times today, and it just keeps going. Mom says that she's grateful, and I'm trying to stay on top of everything, but it's just not enough, somehow. I'm trying not to be as angry as I already am, trying to calm down, and once I got up here into my room, I was able to mentally quiet myself. I've tried to stay calm, but I've gotten so close to being irritated that it's unsettling. I am trying not to lose my temper.

All right, time for a shower and bed. I'll figure out more things tomorrow.