Week 18, Entry 1

I haven't been keeping up with this journal, so I am hurrying to update it today, since a lot of things have taken place.

The cold-drake has been in and out -- it hasn't come to the fore entirely, but it's gotten dangerously close. Today was the absolute closest it has come, and I felt it begin to come over me before I got it back in check. I consider it a triumph, nevertheless, because I felt the emotion, put it in check, reminded myself of reality, and moved forwards.

In the past two weeks, I've had moments of feeling anxious, or snappish, like my anger is looking for an excuse to come out and destroy. Because it's different, says the cold-drake. It's new, why not go back to being a disaster, because even if it was destructive, it was familiar.
I haven't given in -- I'm on my 52nd day clean, and I'm going to get to 90 days, so help me. My will, my love, is greater than the power of the cold-drake.

Week 18, Entry 2

I have been recommended to try marijuana multiple times, but I can now say that it is not for me.

Today I sat next to an acquaintance I was visiting while I smoked marijuana, as I have been interested in its scent and effects, and they wanted to smoke some. They were even kind enough to give me some marijuana to take home, as their father had grown enough to give them a large box full of it.

Despite having only been near its smoke, and touching the dried leaves with my hands, I found myself jumpy and paranoid all the way home, feeling mentally and physically strained, besides.
It seems that this is another psychotropic that works for most people, but has extremely negative effects for me -- the same as caffeine and alcohol.