Week 18, Entry 1
Sep. 22nd, 2022 04:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
goatgodschildI haven't been keeping up with this journal, so I am hurrying to update it today, since a lot of things have taken place.
The cold-drake has been in and out -- it hasn't come to the fore entirely, but it's gotten dangerously close. Today was the absolute closest it has come, and I felt it begin to come over me before I got it back in check. I consider it a triumph, nevertheless, because I felt the emotion, put it in check, reminded myself of reality, and moved forwards.
In the past two weeks, I've had moments of feeling anxious, or snappish, like my anger is looking for an excuse to come out and destroy. Because it's different, says the cold-drake. It's new, why not go back to being a disaster, because even if it was destructive, it was familiar.
I haven't given in -- I'm on my 52nd day clean, and I'm going to get to 90 days, so help me. My will, my love, is greater than the power of the cold-drake.
The cold-drake has been in and out -- it hasn't come to the fore entirely, but it's gotten dangerously close. Today was the absolute closest it has come, and I felt it begin to come over me before I got it back in check. I consider it a triumph, nevertheless, because I felt the emotion, put it in check, reminded myself of reality, and moved forwards.
In the past two weeks, I've had moments of feeling anxious, or snappish, like my anger is looking for an excuse to come out and destroy. Because it's different, says the cold-drake. It's new, why not go back to being a disaster, because even if it was destructive, it was familiar.
I haven't given in -- I'm on my 52nd day clean, and I'm going to get to 90 days, so help me. My will, my love, is greater than the power of the cold-drake.
