Week 50, Entry 1

It is May Day, the first of May. Today is grey and cold and damp and dark, just the sort of day to be sad on, rather than one to celebrate on.

In two weeks, it will be one year since I hurt Malcolm, and drove him away.

Today, I had to refuse the paid internship that I had previously agreed to. I was not previously forthcoming to my case manager, and not to the Library Director who would have been my employer. They are both very unhappy with me, naturally, and rightly so. I have been feeling quite sad about this all day.

Yet at the same time, I quite clearly could not -- I would be doing six hours of work, three days a week, with a 30-minute break in the middle. Which would be manageable, maybe, but the two-hour commute in addition to that, meaning I would be getting up at about 6:30am and wouldn't be back home till 7pm? That's pushing it too far.

Marginalia: TLBD Headcanons/Jokes

* Rust jumps at the NCAP stance because it's an excuse to stay home, play his music, and look at cold cases. And NO GLITTER. The cough syrup bottles are arranged into the Bi Flag colors, tho.

* Pins Rust would wear to Pride:
- God Makes No Mistakes (because he doesn't exist)
- We are the people our parents warned us against
- I am a member of an immoral subculture
- Morally Repugnant
- ACAB
- No Cops At Pride
- No Hugs