Week 2, Entry 9
Jun. 5th, 2022 09:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
goatgodschildJust because something was formative doesn't mean it's worth keeping.
I loved the Redwall books when I was a kid. I read every single one at least twice, usually more. This is not especially unusual -- kids like things, Redwall is well-written and has a lot of things I like. But Redwall's...I don't wanna say worldview, because that feels like the stories were meant to instruct, which they weren't.
All the same, what, in the books, is Just Doing Business, stuff that's just casually said and done?
There's a lot of really fucked up things that the main characters consider acceptable, normal, even good, and if this is your primary form of learning about the world, about how adults (the characters are mostly adults) act...
I'm realizing how much it influenced me to view the world as hostile and violent, and that violence (and food) fixes all your problems. That if you don't scare people first, if you don't show you're dangerous, they'll fuck with you and hurt you. And if you show how dangerous you are, you'll be respected and seen as a good friend, a protector.
Also, it is comparatively realistic about its very graphic violence. Which unfortunately led to me being able to talk like an assassin by the time I was 9. The trouble is, I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not a short little elementary-to-middle school aged girl, I'm a 24 year old man with a flat bass voice, limited facial expressions, and strong enough to move the downstairs fridge.
I saw someone online post that the Redwall series is just "the fastest [hare] in all the land, committed a real ass war crime". And it all came together, as clearly as if I had seen it in a meditation. When I have the bad cold thoughts now, I tell myself, that's a real ass war crime. It helps a lot to reconfigure my mind.
This relates back to something I've been wanting to put into words, but haven't been sure about how to do so.
I've been working on building up my mindset from the very basics, and so I'm trying to consume children's media that has good and useful messages for living now. My first go with this has been watching She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. I already wrote some notes on this (Week 2, Entry 2), but I'm noting where my mindset will shift into "war crimes mode". And then I go through why I felt like that, and why it's wrong. Sometimes I will turn off the episode in order to calm down.
I have my first official day of volunteering at the cat shelter tomorrow, so I should go to bed now.
I loved the Redwall books when I was a kid. I read every single one at least twice, usually more. This is not especially unusual -- kids like things, Redwall is well-written and has a lot of things I like. But Redwall's...I don't wanna say worldview, because that feels like the stories were meant to instruct, which they weren't.
All the same, what, in the books, is Just Doing Business, stuff that's just casually said and done?
There's a lot of really fucked up things that the main characters consider acceptable, normal, even good, and if this is your primary form of learning about the world, about how adults (the characters are mostly adults) act...
I'm realizing how much it influenced me to view the world as hostile and violent, and that violence (and food) fixes all your problems. That if you don't scare people first, if you don't show you're dangerous, they'll fuck with you and hurt you. And if you show how dangerous you are, you'll be respected and seen as a good friend, a protector.
Also, it is comparatively realistic about its very graphic violence. Which unfortunately led to me being able to talk like an assassin by the time I was 9. The trouble is, I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not a short little elementary-to-middle school aged girl, I'm a 24 year old man with a flat bass voice, limited facial expressions, and strong enough to move the downstairs fridge.
I saw someone online post that the Redwall series is just "the fastest [hare] in all the land, committed a real ass war crime". And it all came together, as clearly as if I had seen it in a meditation. When I have the bad cold thoughts now, I tell myself, that's a real ass war crime. It helps a lot to reconfigure my mind.
This relates back to something I've been wanting to put into words, but haven't been sure about how to do so.
I've been working on building up my mindset from the very basics, and so I'm trying to consume children's media that has good and useful messages for living now. My first go with this has been watching She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. I already wrote some notes on this (Week 2, Entry 2), but I'm noting where my mindset will shift into "war crimes mode". And then I go through why I felt like that, and why it's wrong. Sometimes I will turn off the episode in order to calm down.
I have my first official day of volunteering at the cat shelter tomorrow, so I should go to bed now.
