Week 120, Entry 1
Sep. 17th, 2024 01:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
goatgodschildI am having an anxious kind of a night. It feels like there are so many things around me, and in my life there are so many people who, if I have not hurt them, then I haven't done right by them. And I wouldn't be going in circles so bad if I felt more comfortable, but I don't, so I am not.
There is a positively Gothic sense of dread hanging over me at the moment, and where it comes from, exactly, I don't know. I tell myself, what would have been to me in old times, hm? Or if I wasn't so lucky? I say I am having trouble, but am I, really? Typing that out, it all seems a smokescreen from dealing with what are issues in front of me.
I will attempt to summarize the issues at this time. But I'm falling asleep, so I will work on it as need be.
My laptop has died. It is five years old, so it is not too surprising, but I was expecting to get some more time with it. Turns out that when I dropped it on its side mid-breakup in 2021, I didn't just damage the DVD drive, I damaged the motherboard, and the damage is spreading.
The attempt to replace the laptop is still ongoing. I bought a new laptop at Costco that had Windows 11, but it made a horrible pulsing gasping sound whenever a sound file of any kind was played. More than that, the On button is in a different place, and the Windows 11 internal search bar is in the center-right of the screen, when previously it has always been on the left-hand corner, exactly.
This would be less frustrating, or anxiety inducing, if school didn't start in two weeks.
There is a positively Gothic sense of dread hanging over me at the moment, and where it comes from, exactly, I don't know. I tell myself, what would have been to me in old times, hm? Or if I wasn't so lucky? I say I am having trouble, but am I, really? Typing that out, it all seems a smokescreen from dealing with what are issues in front of me.
I will attempt to summarize the issues at this time. But I'm falling asleep, so I will work on it as need be.
My laptop has died. It is five years old, so it is not too surprising, but I was expecting to get some more time with it. Turns out that when I dropped it on its side mid-breakup in 2021, I didn't just damage the DVD drive, I damaged the motherboard, and the damage is spreading.
The attempt to replace the laptop is still ongoing. I bought a new laptop at Costco that had Windows 11, but it made a horrible pulsing gasping sound whenever a sound file of any kind was played. More than that, the On button is in a different place, and the Windows 11 internal search bar is in the center-right of the screen, when previously it has always been on the left-hand corner, exactly.
This would be less frustrating, or anxiety inducing, if school didn't start in two weeks.
