goatgodschild | Ose Poem I Wrote in 2014

I was about 16 when I wrote this, in 2014. I don't remember the context of writing it, which is probably for the best.

Puberty is hitting me hard.
I sulked at my dad and
I screamed at my mom --
I forgot that my sister even existed, and
Puberty is hitting me hard.

My art is black, and so are my clothes
(Puberty's hitting me hard)
And I'm pale and I'm spotty on the best of my nights
Because puberty is hitting me hard.

When I say "I don't know", it is true that I don't --
Not as much as I'd like to, you see.
It seemed like such a good idea in the moment --
How couldn't this turn out all right?
"Why did you do this?", "Why didn't you think?"
They shout and they plead and they cry
But we all know the answer
(like "who took all the dip?")
It's that puberty is hitting me hard.

I told you I was going out --
You're always telling me so.
But being mortal is only part of the light,
And into the darkness I go.

Maybe these aren't the best years of my life
Maybe it's as good as it gets
I told you not to worry, Mom
Who knows what a GPA is?!
I told you I was more mature,
I promise I was right
I'm back to Taylor Swift again
And not "Last Friday Night".

You told me you were disappointed
(No, really, again?)
And I won't tell you the truth, it's unfair and it's wrong
(And takes your side in the end.)
I've told you -- in mutters, in mumbles, and screeds
That puberty is hitting me hard

I couldn't tell you what's going on
Beyond the chorus above.
Except to tell you I need my own bathroom
And studio and bedroom and mugs.